Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Sun!

We've had a couple of rainy days and nights here in middle Georgia. Dismal, hard to accomplish the daily tasks I have set for myself, gray days.
Late this afternoon the sun finally came out.
Isn't it amazing, the emotional lift a person can get from seeing the sun?
I'm feeling more positive about life already!

Saturday, March 26, 2011


At about the age of 30, I suddenly developed a collecting bug. I have no idea why this happened.
I had very little as a child. So possessions were not all that important to me.
Anyway, I went into a teddy bear store in a mall close to my home and noticed stuffed artist teddy bears and toys. It wasn't the bears that intrigued me, it was stuffed bunnies. I suppose they appealed to the kid in me. Or the kid I never got to be, which is probably the case.
I began with the less expensive bunnies, in the $30 range. Just like most collections, the interest grew into the more expensive mohair bunnies by the premier artists.
Then I bought my first alpaca teddy bear. I still have that bear nearly 25 years later.
The bear obsession grew. Artist bears, Steiff bears, then limited edition Steiff bears. The collection grew and grew.
Then the interest shifted to, of all the damn things, purses.
That happened when Jenna and I walked into the Louis Vuitton store in the Lenox Mall in Atlanta.
That obsession took off. I aquired at least 20 LV handbags.
I began to sell off the teddy bears. Not all of them. I still have quite a few and plan to take some of them into retirement with me.
Then came my first Chanel handbag. Then I got obsessed with Chanel.
I sold off most of my LV bags. Then I sold off many of my Chanel bags.
I got an Hermes bag. No, it's not the Birkin, I don't know if I will ever have a Birkin. But it is an Hermes.
I worked through 2009 and 2010 to cull the collection, and only keep what really appealed to me.
So by the end of 2011 I will have 4 LV, 4 Chanel, and 1 Hermes.
That seems like a collection that isn't overwhelming, but is interesting.
I'm happy with it.
For now anyway.......

Monday, March 21, 2011

What, am I- 4 years old?

I recently had a cold. Got over it.
I thought.....
I woke up during the night Saturday with a very swollen sore throat. I have a high pain tolerance, but the fact that this hurt meant I should see a doctor.
This morning I went into work for an hour and a half then walked across the street to see the doctor.
I have strep throat. Aren't I too old for this?
Anyway, I was sent home. I started a Z Pack of antibiotics, and should be able to return to work later in the morning tomorrow.
I should rest today so I'm better tomorrow.
This is slightly embarrassing.
Hope I didn't infect anyone at home or at work.....

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Past

These thoughts woke me up during the night. I answered a couple of questions my son  asked about my youth and I suppose the discussion embedded in my head, hence the thoughts.
My mother chose multiple marriages and the man of the hour over her children many times. My father never engaged with my brother and I, and when we were being shipped off yet again  because possible husband material didn't want children, my father wasn't interested in us. Grandparents? I know my Italian grandfather was very kind to my brother and I but we couldn't understand him when he spoke to us. My maternal grandmother- I don't even think she noticed us. My paternal grandmother was deep into her Alzheimer's when we met her and she had no idea who we were. We were all told the paternal grandfather had been dead for years. (That turned out to be false but by the time everyone, including his own children found out he'd been alive all along, it was too late.)
So, it was my brother Martin and I. We were like 2 young sailors, holding onto a chunk of driftwood in a sea of neglect.
He made me laugh, he made me continue to care enough to stay alert and alive, knowing the hell in which we  lived would eventually end, and we would be able to take the reins of our own destinies at some point  if we could just get through the Here-and-Now.
And we did reach adulthood, and that particular Hell did end for us.
Martin chose his life, I chose mine.
Mistakes were made. I turned down some wrong paths, but didn't go too far down a bad alley since I had honed that instinct for self-preservation for years.
Little did I know, my darling brother put his salvation into the hands of others, instead of relying first and foremost on himself for strength.
And when he was let down, he ended his life. His most precious gift, he threw away.
I still have moments of despair, times when I wonder if I can continue to forge ahead each day. But those moments are few and far between now.
I have a dear husband, and pretty darn great kids. None of us are perfect, but we are decent enough folks I guess.
I think I want to say this:
This is it. This is the hand we were dealt. It may not be the best hand, but it's what you're holding.
If you don't like it, take steps to fix or change it. You have more cards to choose from, you know.
Don't be at the end of your life, wondering why you didn't make other choices. Don't let your destiny be in someone else's hands. You have more power than you think you do.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Going West

I'm unsure what happened here but it is cold and wet in Georgia.
After hearing that the temperature in Phoenix was 89 degrees today, I decided I would like to be warm and dry for a couple of days.
Gil & I will take off work early tomorrow, pack a suitcase and fly to Phoenix for the weekend.
I plan to drink a margarita or "dos", eat some Mexican food, play some card games with the in-laws, and ride a bike in the sunshine. Beats staying home avoiding the rain, I think.
Life can ge grand sometimes!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

In the Valley

Without going in to great detail, since I don't really like to put my personal business out there, let me just say I am now slightly "in the valley". This is from a sermon today concerning our lives being full of peaks and valleys.
While I have not been deep in the valley since I was young and had no control over my destiny, a situation has occurred here in life which is slightly valley-ish.
This will be a challenge for me.
I can either (A) trust in God to handle this for me, or (B) I can take deep breaths and allow it to work itself out, or (C) I can do a combination of both.
I choose option C.
Wish me luck.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Back to the gym.

My spouse and I rejoined the local gym and began dropping in every night after work beginning this Monday evening.
I wake up sore every morning- I may be the only person I know who likes this- and I have to stretch in order to move without looking like Dorothy's Tin Man before the oil can.
The side effect I had forgotten about are the vivid dreams I have when I exercise regularly.
In many cases I think this is a good thing since perhaps it means I'm getting more restful sleep.
However, I did wake up about 2:30 this morning having a terrible dream. And it took me a while to shake off that dream. Once I processed what it meant, I went back to sleep.
I am feeling more cheerful and strong after only 3 evenings at the gym.
If there is ever any advice I believe is true- exercise is good for what ails you.